It was so nice of Princess Mia to give us all a glimpse of her pale, fleshy thighs as she emerged from her limo today. A piece of advice to Her Royal Highness:  They’re called tights. Try them!

 Does Princess Mia really think platform Mary Janes are appropriate footwear for a behemoth like herself?  I suppose she thinks she’s towering over everyone like some kind of supermodel.

Too bad no one’s told her she looks more like a superspastic.

You would think, with all the money Princess Mia has—you know, being royalty and all—she could get a decent haircut.Instead, she has one that make her ears look exactly like teapot handles—these teapot handles, to be exact:  Flattering. Extremely.  Hint to Mia: If they’re good enough for Britney, they’re good enough for you,  honey.

10) She’s a princess.

9) The fact that she is constantly writing in that stupid journal.

8)She had the best boyfriend in the whole world, and she blew it.

7) Always whining about wanting to be self-actualized. Please. Self-actualization implies the attainment of the basic needs of physiological, safety/security, love/belongingness, and self-esteem. Who expects to have all that at sixteen?

6) She obsesses. About EVERYTHING.

5) What is up with the no-meat thing?

4) She can’t do even the simplest math problems.

3) Did I mention she’s a princess?

2) She’s a boy-friend-stealing byotch.

1) Her hair looks stupid.